Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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