it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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