After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
