Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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