My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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