So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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