She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
