I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
