hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
drinking out of a sandbucket again
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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