let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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