dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
