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For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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