your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
