I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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