i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
