were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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