i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
