WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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