The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
