Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
