You're completely useless in the revolution.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
