I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
