Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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