omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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