He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
