I cockslap morals
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
