My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
