she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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