she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
