how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
