your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
