Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
