Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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