he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
