I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
