he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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