After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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