Porn is love you can see.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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