He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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