Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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