I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
