My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
