for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
