i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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