would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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