Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
