If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
