All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
