His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
