It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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